Episode 21 - “Old Dogs, New Dicks”
I have a wandering eye. I admit it. “Hi, my name is Kevin and blah blah blah.” There’s nothing wrong with looking at another woman. It allows you to pick out the things you wish were better about your wife or girlfriend. What’s wrong with wanting to better your significant other? Maybe a firmer behind or a different hairstyle. That’s all I’m saying. Or a larger chest. And nicer clothes that reveal the legs her and I discussed in our last conversation when we passed that woman on the street in the miniskirt. (Gams to her neck.)
I like to build my woman like Frankenstein only hot and with less scarring. She can keep the personality because that’s what I fell in love with. As for the exterior, I consider it clay. Don’t get me wrong. It’s clay that I don’t mind waking up next to or cuddling on the couch with but it’s still clay and by its very nature needs to be fiddled with. And I’m a good fiddler. I’m like Boyd Tinsley but back in the 90s when it was still cool to be Boyd Tinsley.
This entry will probably upset some women, especially ugly ones, but women try to change men all the time and it’s considered fine. If I try to change one tiny thing like her outward appearance, I’m the bad guy? It’s a two way street, ladies.
Once again, I’m a Miranda because I don’t like fooling around in the morning either.
