Episode 12 - “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”
Carrie breaks up with Big because he can’t tell her that she’s the one for him. Women are wack! I hate to get all Kid ‘n Play on this but it must be said. There comes a point in every relationship where you either poo or get off the pot. Not coincidentally, it’s always the woman that’s responsible for putting you in this toilet analogy situation. I guess they would be the undercooked chicken or something with a lot of fiber. Not sure. Regardless, they take something that’s going so great (a relationship without labels) and ruin it (by wanting labels).
I’m not a fan of labels. That’s why I signed my marriage certificate “This Blows.” I’m a wild stallion. I can’t be saddled with the title “husband.” No, this horse needs to run or sit on the couch and watch TV. Yup, this horse could really go for a nice couch with an ottoman to rest his hooves on, a Mets games, and some pretzels with onion dip. Oh, that’s nice. This horse likes.
Unfortunately, fellow equines, your wives and girlfriends don’t like wild horses. And, as a complete kick in the junk to Mick Jagger, they want to drag you away. Where do they get the nerve? I’ll tell you where. It’s in their insensitive, selfish hearts. It’s always what they want and that always lines up eerily with what we don’t want. Other than Morgan Freeman’s creepy collection of penguins, can you name another species that needs commitment? I can’t and I’ve watched all of “Planet Earth.”
My advice to all the women that read my blog is to just let the relationship be. Don’t complicate things. Life is complicated enough with the economy and the rise in gas prices. So, instead of being the undercooked chicken or something with a lot of fiber, why not be a good magazine? A magazine doesn’t put any pressure on you to perform in the bathroom.
For the last episode of the season, I’m a Miranda. People tend to want to shower after being with me.
