Episode 8 - “Three’s a Crowd”
Carrie and the ladies discuss threesomes (the sex kind). I have never been in a threesome but I’ve seen the movie “Wild Things” four times so I know a thing or two about Kevin Bacon’s penis. Wait. Threesomes. Right. There are three kinds of threesomes a man can engage in. The first being three guys. Straight men hate this one but it still counts as a threesome if you go through with it. The second one involves a woman and another guy. This is still not an ideal situation for a straight man because there should really only be so much body hair in a bed (A fully waxed second man is a more acceptable option but not by much.) The last option is two women. As a straight man, this would be my preference so we will focus on this one.
Having two women in bed at the same time can be a daunting task. Most men can’t even satisfy one woman. (Am I right, girlfriends?) Thankfully, I’m not most men. I know I can handle myself in a threesome with two women. How do I know? Well, understanding that the problem is entertaining both women at the same time, it’s fortuitous that I was born with two penises. It’s a rare disorder known as diphallus, or Lucky Bastard’s Disease. I’m one of 10 men afflicted with it on the East Coast. We have a vegetarian banquet every year. (Vegetarian because there’s already too much meat in the room. Two penised men have a sense of humor, too.)
Now, if you weren’t born with two penises, the threesome can still be successful. You are going to have to be ok with sharing the gratification responsibilities. The two women are going to have to kiss each other and possibly more and all you can do is watch and wait your turn. If that sounds good to you, then you are ready for a threesome because finding the two women is easy.
I consider myself a Miranda for this one because I get sad when my friends don’t think I’m threesome-worthy, too.
