Episode 7 - “The Monogamists”
Carrie asks whether men have an innate aversion to monogamy. As a prototypical man, I would like to weigh in. Webbster’s Dictionary defines a man as “a human being housing two minds: one in his brain, the other in his penis.” From my experience, my brain mind allows me to function in every day tasks such as driving, making dinner, and writing this blog. My penis mind, mostly, allows me to judge the hotness or, medically speaking, sexitude of a woman. (Consequently, Webbster’s Dictionary defines a woman as “a human being with at least three points of entry.” It goes without saying that Webbster wrote that definition using his penis mind.)
The penis mind is also completely responsible for man’s aversion to monogamy. It wants nothing more than to sleep with a different woman every night (and by “night,” I mean “second”). Obviously, each man is different and, therefore, has a different level of resistance to the desires of the penis mind. The higher the resistance level, the higher the chance at fidelity. The lower the resistance level, the higher the chance you’re in a direct-to-DVD sequel for American Pie.
In conclusion, men do have an innate aversion to monogamy but it can be managed. Since man can only use one mind at a time, it is important, when in the company of a ridiculously hot woman (oozing sexitude), to keep the brain mind in control. A common misconception is for the man to make his brain mind think about his partner and how much he loves her. The proper thing to do is keep the brain mind occupied by repeatedly humming the song “How Bizarre” by OMC. I hope this was helpful.
Extending the lead, I am Charlotte because I don’t want to ever give head either.
